The Crimes of the Mind
by ronslilprincess
Summary: Harry, and Ron tell Hermione to show up outside an unused class room, but when she shows up early will she get the surprise of her life? Or will her dirty mind get the best of her? First attempt at humor


The Crimes of the Mind  
  
By: Ronslilprincess  
  
A/n: This was meant to be a funny story, but I'm sorry if it doesn't turn out that way. My uncle died on Friday, and his viewing is later today, so I'm not exactly in a humorous mood. I'll try though.  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related charecters/settings belong to the fabulous J. K. Rowling. Super-glue belongs to whoever makes it. I will return everything when I'm done. The super-glue may gone, and the characters more sticky, but yes they will be returned.  
  
Summary: Harry, and Ron tell Hermione to show up outside an unused class room, but when she shows up early will she get the surprise of her life? Or will her dirty mind get the best of her?  
  
And now on to the story....  
  
Hermione grumbled as she walked down the hall. It was her birthday, and her best friends, Ron and Harry, had ditched her. But not before telling her to meet them outside an unused classroom. Then they had left, without so much as a 'happy birthday,' or even a 'bye.' In fact they had seemed very keen to get away from her.  
  
She arrived outside the room, but her friends weren't there yet. She glanced down at her watch, and sighed. She was half an hour early. She slid down on to the floor, not feeling like going back to the common room. Sadly, she decided she would just have to wait.  
  
Many minutes passed, and there was nothing but silence. Suddenly, there were a pair of deep laughs, issuing from the room across from her. Then "I can't believe we're going to do this!" Hermione frowned. It sounded like Harry.  
  
The next voice confirmed her suspicions. " I know Harry! We haven't even been caught yet!" Hermione's eyes narrowed. What were they up to?   
  
A deep throated growl followed this, which Hermione assumed was Harry. Ron's voice was changing and nothing that came from his mouth these days were deep. Then there was a sigh from Ron, and a mummered "Oh, Harry!"  
  
Hermione's eyes now grew a little bigger. What were they doing?  
  
"Sorry Ron! Don't worry I've got this. I thought it might be helpful."   
  
"But the tube is so small! And that is not small!"  
  
"Don't worry! It'll be enough! Trust me, it'll cover every inch."  
  
Hermione was a bit afraid now. Whatever they were doing didn't sound pleasant, and it just kept getting worst.  
  
"ARRRGGH!!!" Was the noise she heard next, and it must have came from Ron, as it was high-pitched, and squeaky.  
  
"Don't worry Ron! I'm coming!"  
  
"Oh my gosh Harry!! It's stuck!"  
  
"It's not stuck! We just need a plan."  
  
"Push!"  
  
"Pull!"  
  
"Push!"  
  
"Pull!"  
  
"Push!"  
  
"Pull."  
  
At that moment Peeves swooped over Hermione's head, and cackled. "That Weasley really glows!"  
  
Hermione gulped. This did not sound good at all! She glanced down at her watch again. There was still 10 minutes before she was supposed to be here. She sighed, once again. She would have to put up with it.  
  
"Ron take it!"  
  
"But it's so sticky!"  
  
"Ron! Just take it!"  
  
"Fine."   
  
"OW! That bloody hurt!"  
  
"Sorry...Oh no! Hermione should be here any minute!"  
  
There were frantic movements inside, and the door slowly opened. Out came her two best friends, who seemed to be stuck together. Her mouth fell open. Ron's hair was a bright neon yellow.   
  
Noticing her stare, he muttered "Peeves.."  
  
She nodded slightly, and continued to stare at them.   
  
Ron sighed. "I hate Peeves! He also pulled my foot into the wall. That bloody hurt! Harry said I should push my leg in farther, so the hole would get bigger, and my foot could just slide out. I thought I should just pull it out. We had a slight argument over that." He gave her an embarrassed grin. "Harry's idea worked best."  
  
Harry nodded. "We were finishing your birthday present."  
  
Ron frowned at him. "But Harry accidentally broke part of it. Luckily he had a tube of super-glue with him."  
  
"Ron didn't think that such a little tube would do the job, but obviously he didn't realize how sticky it was. The tube was kinda stuck to my hand, and I didn't know it, and he just pulled it off." Harry held out his hand to show her the slight trickle of blood that was there. "And then he somehow managed to get our legs stuck together." He glared down at their legs. "But anyway, Happy birthday!"  
  
They held out a box together and handed it to Hermione. It was made of a dark wood, and had a cutout of a large book on top.   
  
Ron smiled at her. "If you place a book on top of it, it will record the name, shrink the book, and put it inside! And when you want a book out of it, all you have to do is say the title, and the book will appear!"  
  
Harry smiled too. "Fred, and George helped us with some of the magic."  
  
Hermione jumped up, and gave them a hug. "I'm so glad that you were doing this in there! I was a bit worried!"   
  
Ron and Harry stared at her, confused, but she just shook her head. She took out her wand, and pointed it at them. "Scorgify!" Their legs sprang apart, and the three best friends walked off. Hermione thought the whole way, 'I'm never going to be early again.'  
  
Fin  
  
Authors Note: Isn't this the stupidest story ever? Oh well, it cheered me up slightly. Sorry if you got a little scared. This is my first nonromantic story. I'm moving on up! Thanks to whoever read this. 


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